Oh God, I Spent $494.04 Playing the Kim Kardashian Hollywood App →

embfitz:

Oh God, I saw this in the app store a couple of days ago and almost went for it

I’ve been playing this! As soon as Kim announced that she had a game coming out I was like: Welp, that’s for me.

My starlet’s name is Koatl and she is strikingly beautiful. 

The character Kustomization is definitely my favorite part. It took me a WHILE to decide the perfect hair and makeup for Koatl but rest assured I fully immersed myself in the task. 

I’m on board with freemium games but the K stars are really expensive and all I really want to do is try on new outfits and do photoshoots. I don’t care as much about the missions or becoming a bigger celebrity or managing my social media, I really just want cooler clothes. I became a D-list celeb and haven’t spent any money yet, but I kind of need to decide how much having a better wardrobe is really worth to me at this point. Which is very real.

Also, activities like talking to your agent and Kim and running around town aren’t bad, but I got to a part where I had to flirt with someone and I was terrible at it and I ran out of Energy, which was also very real. 

This is my review of a game.

  • Robert: ♫ No, you're a very special girl, not because you're bright. Not JUST because you're bright. You're a very special girl, Juuuuunnne!
  • April: I came out to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked right now.
  • Sweeney Todd: We all deserve to die! Even you, Mrs. Lovett, even I.
  • Mrs. Lovett: I came out to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked right now.

barthel:

Just FYI, remember if you want your donations to go to directly fund the medical care of low-income women, you need to donate to your local Planned Parenthood chapter or other local women’s health clinic. If you want your donations to fund lobbying, especially on the national level, you should donate to Planned Parenthood USA; donations to the national organization mostly won’t fund medical care.

Anonymous asked: Your thoughts on the Boy Meets World reunion show?

Thank you for asking, ANON. I would say my thoughts about Girl Meets World are Complicated with a Side of Cautiously Optimistic.

There are obvious things to love about it. This time around we get the lens of a girl instead of a boy, which is the best, and so far I like Rowan Blanchard/Riley Matthews a lot. And I love love love that we have a bunch of familiar faces—Danielle Fishel and Ben Savage obviously, but also always great to see Trina McGee/Angela, even if she has to make do with the always iffy role of Mysteriously Wise Older Black Woman. And I’m a Will Friedle superfan so I’m very into the new take on Eric—it seems like his experience in the war broke something deep inside him, but he’s emerged with a new maturity that looks really good on him.

What else. I LOVE that right off the bat there was a blink-and-miss-it reference to the Two Morgans thing, sort of hinting that Yes, there were two sisters, and not only that but there was a REASON there were two Morgans. That’s a really interesting retcon and I can’t wait to see how it plays into the larger mythology of the GMW universe.

I would definitely say the time jumps are very jarring at first. Clearly by going back and forth in time they’re going to ultimately show us how the relatively safe, pristine world of Boy Meets World turned into the chaotic post-apocalyptic nightmare of Girl Meets World, but I definitely have had to rewind and watch scenes over in order to really understand what’s going on.

(And honestly none of it made ANY sense to me at all until I went back and watched some the original BMW episodes that are referenced in GMW. Like watching the karaoke scene from S06x12 of BMW, when Shawn and Angela are trying to date other people, and I noticed Riley flickering in and out of view in the background, I nearly LOST MY GOD DAMNED MIND.)

So there’s a lot of really interesting stuff happening, but I also have some lingering concerns that I kind of want to see addressed before I pass final judgment. I’m probably not the only person who’s noticed a few clues that Feeney is still alive but somehow no longer human? What is that about? And the look that passes between Cory and Topanga when Rowan shows up wearing the leather jacket she found in the attic and it is CLEARLY Shawn’s jacket. WHAT WAS THAT. WHERE IS SHAWN AND WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HIM.

I’m a little worried that Girl Meets World is trying too hard to be a mashup of Orphan Black and Terminator, but on the other hand I’m excited that the showrunners are clearly wanting to take some of the core elements of the BMW universe and do something really novel with them. So we’ll see! Like I say, cautiously optimistic.

philnoto:

Helena

*pushes pile of money across table*

philnoto:

Helena

*pushes pile of money across table*

(via danielleh)

philnoto:

Sarah Manning

oh my god Phil Noto please paint all of the sisters please

philnoto:

Sarah Manning

oh my god Phil Noto please paint all of the sisters please

The Kevin Fanning June 2014 Situation

(previously)

The questions this month were algorithmically generated by Google.

(Asking Google “what” or “what are” didn’t return any particularly useful results, but three-word inputs like “what are your” and “when did you” were enough to get us in the general direction of “interview questions”. Although the questions were either terrifyingly existential or bizarrely specific.)



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[what have you] done

I have written stories. I have helped people find jobs. I have tweeted unfunny things that were true and funny thing that were lies. I have turned my back on some people who deserved it and some who didn’t. I have tried to be a good father and partner and succeeded about as often as I have failed. I have hated my body and my face. I have wished I had said or done something different. I have tried to support and encourage people who do interesting and important things. I have taken advantage of people. I have gotten angry to the point of shaking at things people I have never met have said online about things or people I care about. I have cried about music sung in a language I don’t even understand. I have been followed by a dark cloud and sometimes chased after it. I have met more amazing and inspiring people than I can count. I have tried to be happy, like actually physically tried. I have cared about celebrities and corporate brand interactions. I have felt incredibly blessed because of technology. I have liked and faved a lot a lot of things. I have been present in the moment. I have breathed air and consumed resources and wondered where the years went.



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[where did you] sleep last night

In a bed in an apartment in Cambridge. The bedroom is kind of “garden level” and the windows open up on a loud street, and I’m terrified of rats and teens who wander the neighborhood, so we keep the windows shut at night, which means there’s not much air circulation down there.



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[what are your] weaknesses

Everything. Fruity gummi candy. Shandy. Box or screw-top rieslings. A show about vampires or werewolves or teens or all of the above. Women who kick ass. Every soda imaginable. Truth. A really good selfie. Ghosts. People who do things I never would have thought of.



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[who are your] snapchat best friends

Are we still using Snapchat? I was on it for a while but I am a Dad in a committed relationship, so I had very little to offer the Snapchat community. I can’t even remember who sent me snaps when I was on it. Nzle, maybe? I don’t have any Snapchat best friends and I’m fine with this.



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[when did your] heart go missing

I’m not sure. I remember in 5th grade, having to stand up and do something in front of the class, and S____ saying something about how fat I was, and people laughing but me trying to do whatever I was doing and pretend I hadn’t heard anything, but thinking: I thought we were all the same? But apparently I’m different?

I remember in 9th grade, walking home alone from friend’s houses, late on Friday or Saturday nights, and just feeling so, so lonely. Why was I alone, would I ever have a girlfriend, wasn’t there someone who wanted the same things I did? It was all so far away and the longing felt like a high wall that stretched in every direction forever. I just wanted somewhere, anywhere to go, that wasn’t home, to my room.

I remember a few years after my parents’ divorce, when my dad tried to reinsert himself into my life, and I said fine, Here are the questions I have. Here are the things I want addressed. Here are the things I don’t understand. Here are the things I wish were different. And he said: I never knew anyone could be so full of hate.

Maybe a heart going missing is not a one-time thing. Maybe a heart is a thing you keep losing, keep having to find again.



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[how do your] eyes work

Just OK. I’ve worn glasses since I was 16. For distance, mostly, although more and more I need them even to watch Netflix. I wore contacts for a while in college and a little after, but something about my negative self image, it felt too naked, somehow? Switching back to glasses offered me a wall, a layer of protection, myself from other people, other people from myself. I’m so much happier behind glasses.



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[how would you] die in space

Everything I know about dying in space I know from Total Recall. So: eyes bugging out, face bursting, desperately struggling to breathe. Although wait they died on Mars, not in space? Right? So I guess I would die in space the same way I would die on Earth: terrified and alone.



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[how can you] mend a broken heart

You have to eat a lot of snacks, while you’re lying on the couch, under a blanket, watching TV shows and movies that you’ve already seen before and know you love. The last part is probably the most important. Re-watching scenes that you know will make you laugh or cry because they have made you laugh or cry so many times before does something to you, and the anticipation of those scenes—here comes the part that makes me sob, here comes the part where he bonks his head and it kills me every single time because people bonking their heads is the funniest god damn thing in the world—helps rebuild and retrain the emotional synapses of your heart. This will work every single time.



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[why do you] want to be a doctor

I don’t want to be a doctor and don’t think of myself that way. But I do want to fix things. I want to make people happier and healthier. I want to look for clues and symptoms and make diagnoses. I want to take disparate things and stitch them together to create something necessary. I want to leave people better and I want the colleagues of my life to be people who do similar work in the world.



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[who do you] love

I love everyone.

My mom said that if this post gets 10,000 notes she will attempt to look interested while I explain to her what tumblr is

Let's All Find Awesome Jobs by Kevin Fanning →

davepress:

Let’s all Get Awesome Jobs by Kevin Fanning (@kfan), finished yesterday.

I loved this. If there is anything more demoralizing, devaluing, and just plain reducing it’s finding a job. I get to do it every three months. Fanning’s good humor on this nightmare is a fresh perspective. His expertise as well as his cheerful manner is delightful. I would recommend this book to anyone who currently engaged in a job search. Some highlights: 

“When they ask you to describe your weaknesses, use that as an opportunity to acknowledge the areas where you’re interested in improving.”

 On networking: “People want to feel useful. They want to seem smart and successful, and they want other people to listen to their advice. It’s a trait all humans are born with, and you should exploit it.”

Most of all, believe that you are awesome and make a habit out of behaving that way. 

“Schedule an hour a couple times a week and then just get through that that hour. Make your job search your habit, just the dumb thing you have to do every so often in order to get to the things you actually want to do…You have talents. If you’re smart about how you present yourself and thoughtful about how you conduct yourself in the process you will eventually find a company that recognizes you for the awesome person you are.”

Fanning is just plain awesome. I became a fan after checking out fireland. You should look into his often humorous other work, like Chipotle Cup Stories.

Thanks Dave!