Don’t let me get in my zone
A solemn promise between internet friends, written and recorded by Kevin Fanning.
I'm a contributing writer for The Morning News and the Beverage Expert in Residence at Maura Magazine and you can follow me on twitter @kfan.
#best of / #stuff I wrote / #GPOY / #pep talks / #quotes / #poetry / #lists / #music
Ariana Grande - Honeymoon Avenue
Since this has been running through my head more or less nonstop for the past five days, I figured I should post it here. The thing that got me was the way she sings “bumper to bumper” in the chorus — it’s so unusual and fluid that I thought it was just onomatopoeia for the first ten or so listens. (Like, the traffic is going “bumpata bumpa.” I know, it doesn’t make sense if you think about it for a half second.) I understand the Mariah comparisons but this track feels more specifically like a great Ne-Yo song from 2008: a loose, flowy verse that piles on hooks until it arrives at a chorus with a quiet but insistent four-on-the-floor backbeat.
I also seem to have a specific image of Honeymoon Avenue as a physical place. I see it running parallel to Ocean Parkway, starting at Coney Island and running through Sheepshead Bay until it terminates in Flatbush. It’s the name, “Honeymoon Avenue,” sounding like ad-speak from some early twentieth century amusement venture, like Niagara Falls but more urban. And the traffic isn’t highway traffic, it’s domestic, open to the air. Brooklyn on a spring day. Honeymooning at the shore.
This song is my favorite. It’s got a lot going on sonically as Perpetch mentioned but there are also a hundred little details about the lyrics that make it stand out as a favorite this year.
I love the “You know how to drive in rain” part because that’s a very endearing new driver concern, I love the way the “What happened to the butterflies?” line in the second verse echoes the “I get butterflies just thinking about you boy” line in “Right There”, and I love love love the line “I’m under pressure cause I can’t have you the way that I want.” This isn’t a love song and it isn’t a breakup song. There’s no question that she can have him, it’s about NOT SETTLING. It’s about making a valuation of your time & energy & love and holding someone to it, and not enough pop songs are about that.
Like she says on “Piano” “I could sing about how love is a losing battle, it’s not hard.” Right??? It’s really not.
It’s very easy to Poke and be Poked when you’re on Facebook dot com, but what about Poking on the go? Is it complicated?
No it’s not, but every #PokeFriday someone goes “Ahhh I don’t know how to Poke people on my phone what how whyyy.”
So I’ll tell you!
The good news is this works the same on Android and iOS (I checked).
Okay! That’s pretty much it! Feel free to ask if you have follow-up questions. Happy Poking!
Fuck this entire fucking thing. Beverage Station my ass. As Rebecca pointed out, there’s no ice. There’s also not enough booze. Nothing is cold. Nothing is easily accessible. Last time I threw a party at my house, I filled a few coolers with ice and put a blender on a table surrounded by cups and napkins and MORE ice. Cheap! Easy! Everyone was happy because there was ice! Because ice is important! And cups. And space to keep drinks cold. No one wants all that shit on some nice desk. It’s gonna get sticky and gross anyway. JUST GIVE US ICE AND CUPS AND SPACE. Brit gave us none of that. Just room temperature drinks and some shitty construction paper decoration. #tech
This beverage station sucks. And! And! It’s a sponsored post! Target paid for this! That’s why I’m so furious! Target gave Brit MONEY to post this and Brit and her minions still farted out this junk. This entirely unhelpful, faux-aspirational, impractical junk.
Get some coolers and fill them with ice. Invite people over. They’ll be happy.
I have no horse in the Bobby vs Brit race (I see ice in 2 places in these pictures) but as a noted beverage enthusiast I would like to agree that this Beverage Station doesn’t have a lot to recommend it from a usability standpoint. You just want a table where you can survey all the options at once, make quick, creative judgements, and finesse ingredients. You do want not a bunch of nooks & crannies to crawl around in looking for things and you certainly do not want a wide variety of flat surfaces to wipe sticky fluids off of. I will never shop at Target again.