Monday March 17, 2008 at 11:37

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FYI I’m not wearing green today. This has never been a holiday I identify with. I’m part Irish but I hate the color green and I can count on one hand the items of green clothing I’ve ever owned. Actually I can count them on one finger: it was a green v-neck sweater that I got from Old Navy my senior year of high school, and it was part of my winter wardrobe off and on for about 12 years. The only sweater I owned until I turned ~30.

But even when I was little, I had zero time or tolerance for this holiday. I have this dimly-lit memory from elementary school. Picture it, Glastonbury, 1984: filing in through the doors on the way to class that morning, some chickie from 4th grade asks me why I’m not wearing green. Two things go through my mind: 1) Green is a hateful color to wear and I don’t own any, DUH, and 2) Will I ever understand why the dumbest things ever are so important to people? (Turns out: no.) (Also: I picture myself as a tiny David Sedaris in elementary school.)

Anyways that sums up my personal history with this holiday. You’re welcome. In related news, I am going candy shopping at lunch today because Easter is FAR AND AWAY my favorite holiday. I’m not Christian and don’t have strong feelings about the big J and whatever it was he was supposed to have done on this date 1,975 years ago, but Easter has the best candy, which makes it special to me. Most people, amateurs, just assume Halloween has the best candy, but no sir. Not even close. Easter is my day. Easter is when candy gets serious.

I have holidays on the brain for this project I’m doing. It’s going just OK.